Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs.

The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.