I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.