Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.

America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.