Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.