Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.

What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.