Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.

If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.