If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.

I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.

Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.

You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.

If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.

Ending a sentence with yo, is like saying, I don't want a job. Not today. Not ever. Know what I mean yo?

Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.