Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

I've decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.