Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.