Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.