Assassinating someone is another way of saying I care, just not in the way they'd want you to.

Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.