Assassinating someone is another way of saying I care, just not in the way they'd want you to.

Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.