Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.
I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.