Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.

Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

I've decided to hire a 'food taster', not because I think anyone is trying to kill me, but because I want to make sure it's not to salty.

MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.