Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.

Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.

I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.