Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

Ending a sentence with yo, is like saying, I don't want a job. Not today. Not ever. Know what I mean yo?

Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.

When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.