Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.
Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.
You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.