Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.

When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?