I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.

Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.