Everybody wants to be more wanted, until they are.

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.