Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.
Misery loves company which is ironic because it rarely throws dinner parties.
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.
Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.
I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.