Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.