Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.