Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.