Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one.

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.