Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
Comedy is rarely funny.
The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.
If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.