Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.
All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.
You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.