A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.