I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.

When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.

Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.