Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.

Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.

The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.