Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.

Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.