Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

Comedy has been my way to reconcile with the world. I didn't really set out to do this, but comedy has served as my outlet to address my issues I have with this crazy world.

The human spirit is indomitable, unless your talking specifically about the people I know.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.