Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.

Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.

White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.