Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.