White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.