White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.