White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.

Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one.

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.