White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.