Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.

When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.