Comedy is rarely funny.
I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.
Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.