You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.
It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.
When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.