Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.