The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet.

Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.