There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.

Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.