The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

There must be 15 shows about people's jobs: 'Ice Road Trucker,' 'Axe Men,' 'Dirty Jobs.' Unemployment is so high, we're watching people work.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.

Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.