The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.

Comedy is rarely funny.

The man I want to be could easily beat me up.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.