Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.
Saying, have a great work-out is like saying, I hope you pull something.
I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.
I'm pretty happy for someone who struggles with happiness.
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.