Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?

Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so hard.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.