Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.

Sex sells, unless you're dehydrated in which case you'd be much more likely to purchase water.

Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.