You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.