You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make.