And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously.

If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator.

I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.

The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.