And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

When I'm working, I'm going to avoid all media. No newspapers, no magazines, no movies, no radio, no TV. I'm just going to do creative work.