And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.