And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get.

I'm competitive at everything.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.

I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.

The only way I'd need a pain reliever to enjoy sex is if all of my fantasies came true at the same time.