I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!