I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible.

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me.

I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box... Why should someone put a limit on how much fun I can have, how much I can accomplish?

At 'Price Is Right,' people feel so safe there and loved. And if you can't jump around on 'Price is Right,' then you can't jump around anywhere, you know?

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.