Libertarians are conservatives who still get high.
I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.
In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.
You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.
It sucks being fat, you know.
I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.