If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

I wanted to do a show based on what my life would be like if I had never become a comedian.

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.

I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box... Why should someone put a limit on how much fun I can have, how much I can accomplish?

The less [government] the better.

It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.

I don't run outside, honestly. Sometimes I go out around my house, but mainly it's the stupid treadmill. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm very businesslike about my runs.