If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

It sucks being fat, you know.

I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.

I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.

I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.