Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun.

Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?

Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.