Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

Every election I have to hold my nose to vote.

The first Monopoly game I played with my brothers, I hated losing so much, I just had to beat them.