There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

I could still eat a cheeseburger if I wanted to. I just can't have them every day.

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.

I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.