I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that. I'd be embarrassed if that was the way I came across.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.

I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.