I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.

I do get the comics online I guess but it's such a pain. I'd rather just get them in the paper and read them.