I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.

I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of television shows. People don't want to hear from me.

I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

Reality shows always look for the worst people.