Reality shows always look for the worst people.

I think that if anyone bothered to take a survey, they would find a sharp decline in atheism during the winters in Cleveland, Ohio.

The only way I'd need a pain reliever to enjoy sex is if all of my fantasies came true at the same time.

I'm not a good lover, but at least I'm fast.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that. I'd be embarrassed if that was the way I came across.

I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to write jokes at the library, and that, in turn, launched my comedy career.