What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.'

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck.

Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures.

Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.

In any other job, they're truck drivers. In show-biz, they're Transportation Captains.