What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?

I think a lot of people are afraid of freedom. They want their lives to be controlled, to be put into a box... Why should someone put a limit on how much fun I can have, how much I can accomplish?

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.