I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.