I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.

The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.

Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

That's the great thing about having your friends around you. I've known these guys forever. I really enjoy their company just as people. You couldn't ask for a better work environment.

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.