I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.

It sucks being fat, you know.

I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.